Okay - being totally honest with you; I don't like this story much, simply because it feels like a series of random events; the idea that your glue addict would bother to create an animal that somehow makes the smell he loves is bizarre, considering he already works in a glue factory!
So - the stuff I like; I like Nathan who works in a glue factory; reminds me of Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, who worked in an abattoir before he started chopping up people.
So, how about this as another way forwards with this...
By day Nathan works in a glue factory and his secret hobby is taxidermy. He uses the glue to seal up the animals after he's gutted them and to stick there glass eyes in place, and fix their feet to their display cases etc. So, Nathan starts by stuffing birds and cats etc. but soon he grows impatient and wants to kill and stuff bigger things, so animals start going missing from the local zoo. His big goal is to kill and stuff the lion in the zoo (or kimono dragon or whatever), so he creeps in and has a mishap with his glue; he glues himself to the spot - basically he can't escape, and the lion eats him - or all the animals who have lost relatives take their grisly revenge. It feels as if there might be an opportunity here for a final macabre twist; if Nathan spent his life turning animals into object d'art, maybe the last shot could of the lion (or whatever) using Nathan's skull as a foot rest or something? You see what I mean?
I think you need to give your story another shot, George; remember, the story rules in this unit, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work...
OGR 24/01/2013
ReplyDeleteHey George,
Okay - being totally honest with you; I don't like this story much, simply because it feels like a series of random events; the idea that your glue addict would bother to create an animal that somehow makes the smell he loves is bizarre, considering he already works in a glue factory!
So - the stuff I like; I like Nathan who works in a glue factory; reminds me of Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, who worked in an abattoir before he started chopping up people.
So, how about this as another way forwards with this...
By day Nathan works in a glue factory and his secret hobby is taxidermy. He uses the glue to seal up the animals after he's gutted them and to stick there glass eyes in place, and fix their feet to their display cases etc. So, Nathan starts by stuffing birds and cats etc. but soon he grows impatient and wants to kill and stuff bigger things, so animals start going missing from the local zoo. His big goal is to kill and stuff the lion in the zoo (or kimono dragon or whatever), so he creeps in and has a mishap with his glue; he glues himself to the spot - basically he can't escape, and the lion eats him - or all the animals who have lost relatives take their grisly revenge. It feels as if there might be an opportunity here for a final macabre twist; if Nathan spent his life turning animals into object d'art, maybe the last shot could of the lion (or whatever) using Nathan's skull as a foot rest or something? You see what I mean?
I think you need to give your story another shot, George; remember, the story rules in this unit, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work...